Baby Shower
by delos13
Summary: Alexander soon to be born and gods and godesses gathered together on Olympus to shower the future conqueror with their gifts.


A/N: This story is dedicated to Zimraphel and was somewhat inspired by her story "Daddy's Little Conqueror".

I never could bring myself to write about Alexander death, but with his birthday coming in July, I tried to summon a Muse and here is the result.

I don't have three wishes but I have three hopes instead:

readers will enjoy this story

Alexander fans have some knowledge of Greek mythology beyond Achilles and Patroclus

Hermes doesn't sound as annoying as old Ptolemy in the movie

Disclaimer:None of the characters belong to me and I think one would describe it as AU story; but then again, who knows how it all happened in reality?

Warning:I started to write another story that will be my take on infamous 'You are nothing without me" phrase.

My likes:Readers reviews

My dislikes:Not enough new stories in this fandom

-----------------------------------

Baby Shower

-----------------------------------

'I hope you all thought of the appropriate gifts,' started Zeus. 'As I declared, I want Alexander to be the greatest conqueror ever but it only can be made possible if each of you bestow on him qualities that allow him to become one.'

'I swear by Apollo's cows, I didn't write that speech,' laughed Hermes.

The remark drew giggles, cheers and shaking of the heads among Olympians. Zeus was definitely in a good mood, so much so that he allowed a benevolent smile appear on his lips and even tried to beat his son's humor with his own:

'I will let slide this one but if you interrupt me so disrespectfully again I will arrange for the future mother to be present at this baby shower.'

Hermes made big eyes and put his best 'I am so terrified right now' mask. A moment later it was gone, replaced by dreamy expression and in a trance-like voice he said, 'I profess that the next one to interrupt will be Dionysus…'

That brought forward hilarious burst of laughter from all the sides and Zeus waived his hands saying, 'that's enough, already; be quiet, it's a serious matter, really. My own gift is of course that I brought him into this world and…'

'You are saying…' threateningly started Hera.

'I am saying that I wished him into this world,' unperplexed, continued Zeus, 'and whatever talent, ability, faculty or any other sort of gift you confer on him, he will have it all.'

'The last experiment with Pandora didn't go that well,' Hermes was dying to comment but managed to remain silent.

'Who will start?' solemnly inquired Zeus.

'Since we are talking about the greatest conqueror, I think it's only appropriate that my gift will be next,' very self assuredly started Ares, 'so, he will be the greatest warrior, unbeatable, unstoppable, unbreakable, tireless, merciless.'

'Hey, hey, hey,' interrupted Athena, 'that's more than enough from one god, especially the one like you, give you a free hand and you make him into the brainless blood lusty killer.'

Ares made a lunge for Athena but Zeus stopped him, 'you can take your differences outside and when everybody is done; and if I were you, I wouldn't be in any hurry, given your past experiences in that area'.

Athena smiled knowingly and resumed, 'he will be a brilliant strategist and tactician, wise beyond his years, ingenious in battle like no one before him and no one after.'

'Those are the great gifts,' approved Hera, 'I will make him a king over all Greece, Egypt, Asia and the lands beyond.'

'The last Alexander you tried to seduce with that bribe preferred Aphrodite's sweet temptation,' maliciously thought Hermes but once again preferred not to voice his opinion.

As if reading his not so politically correct thoughts Hera asked, 'And what our silver tongued messenger can give as a present?'

'Ah, you all think that I would have nothing to empower a warrior with? I am going to prove you wrong. I will grant him quickness of thought, the ability to make brilliant decisions in a split of a second, to adapt to any new situation with a lightning speed, outwit and outreach any enemy he comes across.'

'That is a great gift,' conceded Athena, 'you pleasantly surprised us all, I have to admit. What about you, uncle?' grey eyed goddess asked Poseidon, 'will he become the greatest admiral as well?'

'Well, considering Hera's gift of lordship over the Asia, I don't see how it can be of any use. However, in order to cross that huge mass of land and be unbeatable in battle, he will need a unique horse, and this is what I am going to give him – a truly magnificent horse, that will rise like a Bull from the sea, untamable by anybody, save Alexander.'

'It's getting better and better,' approved Zeus. 'Dionysus?'

'I will give him passion, a great passion for things that others never even dared to dream about, it will take him across all Asia, to India, to the far lands that I once visited, and even a little beyond.'

'Oh, what is it today, special for Asia on the menu?' asked Hermes, 'why can't he go to Europe, or, what is that popular place with all the heroes, Underworld? Uncle Hades, what will be your welcoming gift for him into this world?'

'You all think of me only in the terms of Death but I also know a thing or two about Life. Mortals are born, live and die, and everything that they possess dies with them…except their name. I can't give immortality to Alexander but I can give it to his name.'

'It is very impressive,' agreed Aphrodite, 'but what is life, especially as short as human, without Love?'

'Oh, no, no, no,' angrily cried out Athena, 'Father, you can't allow her to turn yet another Alexander into some love stricken puppy!'

'Relax, sister, there are many kinds of love, as you of course will hardly know, and I have something entirely different on my mind. His people, his soldiers will love him, they will live and fight for his every word, they will do incredible things for him, for the Love that he will inspire in them.

Oh, and can I make him blonde?'

'I think we can all live with that,' conceded Hestia. 'It was difficult task for me, being a goddess of hearth, to find an appropriate gift to bestow on the greatest conqueror. Yet even for the conqueror roaming the farthest corners of earth, the safety of his home is a very important thing. I will make sure that as long as he lives, his home hearth is guarded well, he won't need to worry about its safety.'

'So be it,' agreed Zeus, 'Artemis?'

'Oh, I know,' Hermes was unable to restrain himself again, ' Artemis will make him the greatest hunter, he will kill small and big game alike thus providing unending supply of food for his army making sure that no one goes hungry.'

'I can arrange so that you also end up on his table, dear brother,' hissed Artemis.

'Personally, I would prefer to end up in his bed, but I am afraid it is not your department, dear sister.'

'Children, stop quarreling,' stepped in Zeus, 'Artemis, you were saying?'

'Yes, hunt is my department, not love; but one not necessarily has to hunt for food only. May be, there are many kinds of love, but there are many kinds of hunt as well. Indeed, he will be a tireless hunter after his enemies and adversaries, he will pursue them relentlessly, nobody will escape him nor during the day neither under the moon light.'

'While we are still on the food topic I think we have to give word to Demeter…'

'Hermes, will you stop already?' with some petulance cut in Zeus and motioned to Hebe, 'will you bring me some nectar, darling?'

'When Hades kidnapped Persephone,' started Demeter, 'I wasn't myself with grief, I couldn't function, I knew that I have to get her back, whatever it takes. I persevered until my daughter was returned to me. Alexander… whatever Alexander will want, Alexander will get.'

Hermes whistled and said, 'that's quite a gift, but remember, Demeter, even you had to agree for Persephone to stay with her husband for three month in a year.'

'Well, I guess it's my turn,' slowly started Hephaestus, 'I thought of giving him a splendid armor, but little did it help Achilles, he was killed and Troy never fell to him. I'll make it so that no city can defend itself against Alexander and his army, any city he encounter on his way will surrender to him, willingly or not.'

Zeus approvingly nodded his head, 'I am very much impressed with all your gifts, and as I said, every single one of them will be bestowed on him in due course. Now, we can truly celebrated and ….,' the King of Gods suddenly stopped, 'Apollo? You said nothing! Of all the gods, You don't have anything to give?!'

'Well, he can make him a great musician,' suggested Hermes rather unconvincingly and shook his head, more so at himself than at others, bewildered that he missed the fact that his brother was silent during their whole assembly.

'What possibly any conqueror can gain by being a musician?' asked Athena, 'it's really amazing that Apollo, who claims to possess so many talents himself has nothing of value to offer.'

'He can make him a great physician,' Artemis stood up for her twin.

'Oh, yeah,' disdainfully commented Ares, 'Kill in the morning, maim in the afternoon, heal in the evening, full time job for the world greatest conqueror!'

'May be you can enable him to see into the future?' suggested Zeus.

'To know future is a curse, not a blessing.' Apollo fell silent for a moment. 'You all,' and he looked around at the suddenly quiet immortals, 'poured on him countless gifts, your unparalleled generosity is staggering and overwhelming. But did you think for a moment how is he going to handle all that? It will be amazing fit even for a god, but a mere human? All that will crash him and your good intentions, well, we know what road they usually pave, don't we?'

'You may be right,' pensively commented Zeus, 'but what are you suggesting? What should we do?'

'To give him somebody who can share this heavy burden, this heap of astonishing presents that you threw on him so lavishly and so thoughtlessly. I will give him a soul mate, to be always at his side, to love him, to cherish him, to understand him. To be there for him no matter what, to console him in grief, to laugh with him in joy, to give him advice and always take his side whether against one opponent or the whole world, whether against foe or friend, whether against himself or even any of us.'


End file.
